Break the habit of staying busy all the time
Many of you are accomplished, productive, hard-working people. And that served you well until you had children, started a new job, or until you burned out
I was giving a presentation to an executive team, and an astute person asked,
“How can I break the mental habit of staying busy all the time?!”
She continued to state, "I’m trying to fill up my days and feel like I’m not getting a payoff from that”
photo by Roberto Salinas
Here are 5 ways to slow down your life and feel engaged.
Ask why you’re being busy all the time.
Is it avoidance? If so, what feelings are you trying to avoid? Incompetence? The shame of not being productive? The embarrassment from a voice from long ago that tells you you should be productive all the time? The anxiety that arises when you think about something stressful going on in your life or world?
What do you really need?
2. Manage expectations.
During times of high stress, like a pandemic, the loss of a loved one or birth, new jobs, divorce, relationship upheaval, we need to place boundaries and manage our expectations. So often I hear clients being extremely harsh on themselves for “not doing more” in their career. In these extremely stressful times, most people are not expecting an increase or even the same level of productivity. If you can, fine. If you can’t though - it’s normal.
3. Engage in activities that re-center you.
Whether it’s through music, art, writing, running, playing a sport, dancing, singing in the shower or baking bread - find the activity that gets you in the “flow”. That point where you’re deeply absorbed and feel timeless. You’re at one with whatever you’re doing, effortlessly, with momentum. Most of the time it’s doing something slightly challenging - it’s not passive. If that’s hard to find, choose an activity that reminds you of who you are.
4. Allow boredom to spark creativity.
Feeling “bored” is painful for many highly productive, high achieving people. Find an aspect of your work or project that is exciting. Perhaps it’s a different angle. Find new ways of collaborating with people either within your organization, your communities, or via social media. People are online more now than ever before. Have an idea you’ve always been interested in? Try looking into that and see what comes of it.
5. Have a strategy to categorize gravel versus boulders.
Often when we are feeling overwhelmed with work, or when work is no longer challenging, we fill up our time doing mundane “tasks” - creating those “to do” lists that make us feel we’re being productive. But how many of those “tasks” are actually personally or professionally fulfilling? Consider which of those tasks are “gravel” - those things you can do while watching Netflix or doing the laundry. And which of those are “boulders” - those significant tasks that actually create value in your life: thinking about a strategy on where you want your career to go, evaluating your relationships, reflecting on your strengths and weaknesses. Those all need scheduled, quality time too, and help you to slow down and be more mindful of how you engage in life.
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